Status: Active, Catholic

Founded: 1899
Construction: 1914

F & Westmoreland Streets
Philadelphia, PA 19134

http://archphila.org/parishes/7025.htm

http://ascensionofourlord.org/

I’ve long held beleaguered Our Lady of Hope to be the poster child of parish suffering. Their glorious building is beset by damage that is, after all, the worst we’ve seen.

That is, until this week.

Ascension of Our Lord makes Our Lady of Hope look like, well, Our Mother of Good Counsel. For all of OLH’s copious problems, at least they’re able to use their church. Ascension, meanwhile, can barely use their church at all.

That’s right, you read that correctly.

The upper church is, in the words of Pastor Michael Chapman, a “disaster” and is totally off-limits, even to visitors. The Project tried very hard to get a glimpse, but even I was denied. When the venerable Fat Girl Principle fails, you know it’s bad. The lower church is supposedly still in use, but a good chunk of their masses instead take place at the rectory chapel. That’s where the Project found himself this past week. Nice, but not exactly what I had in mind when I dropped by for a visit.

It’s really a sin, because Ascension looks to have been really wonderful at one time. It’s a good-sized behemoth that’s notable for its red-tile roof, Greco-Roman-style colonnade, and elaborate stone banisters and staircases. Some of those design elements, particularly the banisters, are not seen anywhere else in the city.

Unfortunately, this church has seen better days. The roof is caving in, there is visible water damage and cracks everywhere, a couple of broken windows and even graffiti on all the side doors. Even worse, the front portion of the church is blocked off by a chain link fence, where the front banister wall is crumbling. Huge chunks of concrete are just lying on the sidewalk, and what’s left is warping and buckling. You can still get glimpses of its past glory, but mostly you just see a desolate husk rotting before your eyes. Despite the fact that it’s still an active parish, it feels more like a ghost town.

The Project is not going to give up on seeing the interior, either in person or by obtaining old shots of its heyday. I’m nothing if not persistent, and this is too important to let go easily. Until I do, however, I can’t fully rate this parish. It really wouldn’t even be fair to do so. I don’t dare kick a church when it’s down on its luck.

Upper v. Lower Church: Speaking of not kicking a church when it's down, I, uh, officially apologize for previously bashing Ascension. Given their current condition it’s perfectly understandable. Until things improve I grant them an official Church Project dispensation.

Utterly shameful.

Size Rating: TBA

Ornamentation Rating: TBA

Overall Design Rating: TBA

Do you feel lucky? F & Westmoreland is sketchy, there’s no doubt about it. And the fact that it’s not a major intersection means that it’s more uncomfortable than most would probably care for. In terms of location, it’s more St. Veronica than St. Martin de Porres.

At least I wasn’t the victim of native surveillance, as I was with St. Veronica. The area is a little interesting, but the locals seemed more concerned with their own business than with me. It’s still not entirely comfortable, and the almost-abandoned church gives it an even creepier vibe, but you shouldn’t worry too much.

Of course, be smart, be safe, and confine your visits to daylight hours.

Safety Rating: 4 out of 10 tire irons

Boy, that rectory was really something.

Ascension does, however, set the new record for the shortest mass: 26 minutes. It bests, by two scant minutes, the previous record-holder, All Saints. I guess when you're crammed into a rectory chapel, you have no reason to dally.